Tristram Shandy Books 8 and 9 by Laurence Sterne: A Cock and Bull Story

Image from Victoria and Albert Museum

It took me almost a year longer than I originally planned, but I've finished The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, by Laurence Sterne. 

I loved it. 

I've seldom had so much fun with classic literature. 

And I'm pleased to say that Mr. Sterne saved his best for last. 

The final two books, probably the most popular sections in the novel, concern Uncle Toby's romance with the Widow Wadman who lives as tenant-for-life nextdoor to the Shandy estate.  Mrs. Wadman has spent the length of the novel watching the growth of Toby's large scale model of the Battle of Namur where he recieved his groin wound.  Over time, she has become attracted to Toby, both the the man and to the estate he shares with his brother.  Tristram, our narrator, speculates that she may still want children as she is still young; the reader soon understands that whether she wants children or not, she clearly wants both romance and sex.

One day she overhears Toby and his man-servant Trim discussing which is more painful, a knee injury or a groin injury.  Afterwards, she is understandly interested in the extent of Uncle Toby's wound.  She meets with him in the scenes that follow and finds Tody is happy to discuss his wound and more than willing so show her exactly where he was wounded.  He takes her to the large scale model of the Battle of Namur, breaks out his measuring equiptment and pinpoints the exact location where he was standing when the bullet struck his groin. 

Widow Wadman is understandably frustrated. 

The end of the novel threw me for something of a loop.  Sir Tristram is exponding on a grand point of philosophy to his brother Toby, Yorick and Dr. Slop, as is his wont, when Obediah comes rushing in to complain about Sir Tristram's bull.  Sir Tristram's old bull was supposed to sire a calf for Obediah's cow, but the time has come and the cow has not calved, so suspicion has fallen on the bull.  It can't be the bull's fault, swears Sir Tristram, becuase he goes about his business with grave expression thereby proving his capability.  It's must be the bull's fault, says Dr. Slop for the cow was hairy at the time and therefore in heat.  What's this story all about, asks Mrs. Shandy. 

"A Cock and a Bull, said Yorick--And one of the best of its kind, I ever heard."

I had to look it up. 

A cock and bull story is a wildly fanciful tale that strays from subject to subject.  The phrase may have come from Stony Stratford, England where there used to be two rival inns, The Cock and The Bull.  At each inn, people would gather and tell boastful tales that often made fun of those who frequented the rival inn. 

That in the novel's final line Mr. Sterne dismisses the entire preceeding 526 pages as so much nonsense seems fitting to me.  That he does so in a  way that references breeding, Toby's war wound, and  all that stuff about the importance of big noses from earlier in the book is just a little bit brilliant.  A book like Tristram Shandy can't really have a proper ending; it simply has to stop. 

As it is, it's a very good stop.